Found on - LINK
I thought so all this while until I found others who dream like me too. I like the feeling but I’m not sure if I should go for it yet. I don’t take risks and this is definitely one.
(via leilockheart)
and all we have in the end are memories. clear my mind. make things simple. fix my insomnia. fix me.
I’m supposed to be asleep by now. But my mind is racing about. maybe I haven’t been this tired mentally in a long time. I feel like I need to write down something before I can let go.
recently, I felt like i regretted this choice again. Why? Cos I started watching community about community college. No kidding. And I watched how they got to go for classes on sailing and pottery and Spanish. And I feel like I’m not done with that part of my life yet. The part where I learn random things that make me whole and not these things that put my mind in a box. well… Regret is a strong word. it probably isn’t all that true. I enjoy this too. not knowing what’s coming next. things have been alright. I love seeing how big the world is. And how we sometimes need to open our eyes. I wish I could make you see that way too. but I also wish that I’d have more details of the future I see for myself. Now I see things that do nothing for me.
I missed you today. I think school makes me feel that way. Or maybe it was the walk last night. I can’t describe the feeling - whether it is sadness or a sort of reminiscence? but its all good. As long as i don’t try to replace it.
After lecture yesterday, and thinking a bit too much, i also got to thinking about beliefs again. I do wish I had been luckier. but the fact remains that I can’t change the way I think. Believe me, I’ve tried. it would be that much easier. I wouldn’t have to tell you that I’m an agnostic. The worst type of faith there is out there. the type of person who cannot trust anything unless he sees it for himself. the irony though is that I sometimes blame him for making me like this. It doesn’t make sense and I’m aware of that. Your creativity. I can learn to accept that. Long day tmr again. I will wake up when I feel like it…
Found on - LINK
I often don’t feel old enough to see the things I do. Then again, maybe you never grow up enough. Death is a part of life but what if life is yet to be lived. How do you cope with that. Yesterday, I met some new people and they said that I should do paeds do I can play with the kids. In my mind, I was thinking if people were really that oblivious. Which kid visiting the doctor is healthy and well? And when I saw their baby, full of cuteness and how they loved him unconditionally, I couldn’t help but see that other life lost. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like. And then there was the other lady who blamed herself for everything from her child’s passing to her health. I dont think you ever get over seeing your baby gone before you. Everyone seems to block these thoughts and go on without being pulled back. And maybe that is the way I need to take it too…
“In the universe, there are things that are known, and things that are unknown, and in between, there are doors.”
—William Blake
PHOTO: Ansel Adams: Door. Thank you, birikforever.
how many doors have I opened? Wherr is it? I always cry alone. I have learnt that well. But days like today, I just need that other shoulder. There are so many out there but, if I dont let you in, then how can I help myself? Sometimes I’m certain my tears are worthless. They do nothing for me and they sure as hell do nothing for you…
— Vernon Howard, from the amazing, Whiskey River. (via crashinglybeautiful)
my
